Yesterday we had another Ultrasound. I'm beginning to hate these appointments. On one hand we're always excited to see Riley, and how she's doing, but they also serve as a BIG DAMN REALITY CHECK that not everything is peachy.
Riley is doing well. She's measuring about a week ahead and weighs approximately 3 lbs 13 oz. Her heart, stomach, kidneys, etc. all seem to be doing fine. There is no appearance of hydrops (excess fluid around the heart, brain, etc.) which is wonderful. The Hygroma appears to be larger, approximately 8x8x7 centimeters. The amniotic fluid is a little high. Because of the hygroma, the excess amniotic fluid, and the fact that we've made it to 30 weeks, they're going to begin doing weekly Non Stress Tests (NST). The NST will monitor Riley's heart, contractions, and amniotic fluid levels. We'll follow up with another full Ultrasound in three weeks.
Yesterday the doctors began the tough conversations with us. We realize they held off on these conversations until we hit the 30 week mark because they really didn't know if Riley was going to make it this far. Now the conversation switches to what is going to happen when she's born. Their first major concern is that the Hygroma is not obstructing her airway. Then, if it's not, but she needs to be resuscitated, the Hygroma could impact resuscitation efforts. Once we get past her being able to survive outside the womb, the next hurdle is to figure out why the Hygroma is there. Hopefully it's improper drainage of the lymphatic system and the Hygroma can be drained or extracted at some point. This may not happen immediately because the doctors may want to wait until she is stronger before performing surgery. There could also be something wrong with her physically, such as an organ not functioning properly. She could still have a syndrome that cannot be found via the Amniocentesis such as Noonan's syndrome. IT'S ALL A BIG UNKNOWN! And it sucks! We just want answers!!!! Which we know we won't get until she's born. We just want her to be okay. We don't want her to be in any pain. We'll deal with whatever cards we're dealt but it is so DAMN hard!
After the mood yesterday's appointment left us in, we decided we need some cheering up and to find a way celebrate our little Riley. So we went to Babies R Us and registered. We had a ball and it got our mind off of everything for awhile. But reality hit again today. We've now decided to hold off having any baby showers until after she's born. We don't know what's going to happen and she could end up staying in the hospital for awhile. We'd hate to have our friends and family spend money on gifts and then have something horrible happen. We're going to focus on getting the bare essentials to get us by. Then, assuming everything goes wonderfully (I've got to start getting positive energy out there) we'll have showers and give everyone the chance to meet our little angel.
For now, I'm asking for two things from all of you:
1) Lots and lots of prayers, thoughts, and positive energy.
2) What are the necessities? Not wants but just the needs to get us by when she first comes home?
Wednesday, March 21, 2007
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Our Conception Story
After eight years together we were pretty sure we'd spend our life with our four legged kids, doing lots of camping, and traveling the world. On August 12, 2004 that all changed with the birth of our God Daughter Tate. We immediately fell completely in love with her and soon began to re-think our decision of not having kids.
In October 2005 we began the process of trying to conceive. As soon as we started trying Shelly began having very erratic cycles which made the process that more complicated. After four tries over six months we decided to schedule a consultation with the a Reproductive Specialist. We were desperate to conceive and on a limited time frame since Shelly had just turned 41. Dee was 35 at the time but not able to conceive due to a medical procedure.
Our first appointment with the Repro Man was May 2006. He suggested we try IVF using Dee's eggs and Shelly as the gestational mother. He felt this scenario would give us the highest chance for success of a healthy pregnancy. We spent a short amount of time weighing our options and decided this was the best choice. We began our first IVF cycle in August. They did the Egg Retrieval and Fertilization on 8/31. Three days later, 9/3, they transferred three embryos into Shelly. Then the wait began.
Shelly promised not to begin the home pregnancy test too soon. Dee had to travel out of state for business a week after the transfer and asked Shelly to please wait to test. BUT, the wait was too much for her and she started testing after a week. At first there was no line. But after a couple of days testing a faint line started to appear. When Dee came home from her trip Shelly told her, "I know I'm pregnant." Dee didn't believe her and insisted the line wasn't dark enough so she tested herself to compare. There was absolutely no line. She began to believe Shelly was pregnant but still had doubt. Dee went to the store and bought another brand of testing strips. After five home tests, we were convinced we we're pregnant due to all positive results. A blood test at two weeks confirmed it; we were going to have a baby!
In October 2005 we began the process of trying to conceive. As soon as we started trying Shelly began having very erratic cycles which made the process that more complicated. After four tries over six months we decided to schedule a consultation with the a Reproductive Specialist. We were desperate to conceive and on a limited time frame since Shelly had just turned 41. Dee was 35 at the time but not able to conceive due to a medical procedure.
Our first appointment with the Repro Man was May 2006. He suggested we try IVF using Dee's eggs and Shelly as the gestational mother. He felt this scenario would give us the highest chance for success of a healthy pregnancy. We spent a short amount of time weighing our options and decided this was the best choice. We began our first IVF cycle in August. They did the Egg Retrieval and Fertilization on 8/31. Three days later, 9/3, they transferred three embryos into Shelly. Then the wait began.
Shelly promised not to begin the home pregnancy test too soon. Dee had to travel out of state for business a week after the transfer and asked Shelly to please wait to test. BUT, the wait was too much for her and she started testing after a week. At first there was no line. But after a couple of days testing a faint line started to appear. When Dee came home from her trip Shelly told her, "I know I'm pregnant." Dee didn't believe her and insisted the line wasn't dark enough so she tested herself to compare. There was absolutely no line. She began to believe Shelly was pregnant but still had doubt. Dee went to the store and bought another brand of testing strips. After five home tests, we were convinced we we're pregnant due to all positive results. A blood test at two weeks confirmed it; we were going to have a baby!
12 comments:
I am so sorry Dee, I have no idea what you are going through.
I just keep feeling like she's jumped hurdle after hurdle...she's so active, it's like she's telling you..."mom, I'm fine, relax !"
You know we are here for you...our prayers are out for you and little Riley.
I'm sorry that we are going to miss that April shower !
The bare essentials. Bottles, diapers, more diapers, wet wipes, a few outfits.
I'm glad that they are keeping a close eye on Shelly I think it will help to put your mind at ease.
positive thoughts,
positive thoughts,
positive thoughts,
positive thoughts,
positive thoughts,
positive thoughts,
positive thoughts,
positive thoughts,
Dee and Shelly,
I'll have to second what was just said. I have no idea what you're going thru but please try to find comfort in that you're in my prayers.
Sending huge-mongus amounts of positive thoughts and prayers. :o)
First of all, positive thoughts all around being sent your way. Second of all, I am no doctor, but little Riley has already made it through some BIG hoops and beat some odds already. This is the little girl that could, and she WILL. Keep telling yourselves that. Doctors, it seems, are required by law to tell you how horrible something can turn out to be. And yet it is usually just fine. (Malpractice and all, I think. But it makes me angry.)
And I say have the shower. The last thing you should be worrying about is putting your friends and family out. Please. What about you three? If this is something that makes you two feel good and puts you in a good place, then do it. Celebrate this pregnancy and Riley. You all deserve it. And then have a SECOND one after riey is born!
And finally, I had a friend who was pregnant with twins. The doctors said one baby showed multiple markers for DS. The mom refused amnio, bec. she wouldn't reduce the pregnancy. Doctors told her that the baby would die within weeks of birth, that the baby's heart problem was too extreme. Flash forward, baby is born, NO downs syndrome and yes, a heart issue, that was corrected by surgery at three months when the baby was bigger. I hear stores like that ALL the time.
I can't even imagine how you both feel. But I am thinking about you both and sending good thoughts. I have a really good feeling that everything will be fine, and these feelings of mine are rarely wrong.
Wow. It sounds like you've had to have some hard conversations. Just know that we are sending you such positive thoughts and prayers. We're thinking of you daily.
Even though I have a gut feeling that all is going to be ok and you should go ahead with your showers, I will answer your question about the must haves for a baby.
Diapers, wipes a couple outfits, a couple onsie undershirts, a couple pair of socks to keep her feet warm (they always seem to have cold feet), a couple receiving blankets and plenty of love. That's it. Oh - if you are forumla feeding than formula a couple bottles.
I am praying hard for you three.
We are thinking of you and sending lots of positive thoughts your way. I just know that Riley has been doing so well and I really believe she will be fine when she's born. I can't imagine how hard it is for you two to go through this. {{{hugs}}}
What I consider necessities...
* breast pads because the milk starts to come in shortly afterwards and it can be messy
* small nail clippers for her nails which will probably be long--of course you could probably use regular ones but the small ones are quite easy and you can get them in a pack with other things like a nasal thingy
* diapers and wipes
* warm socks (can use these for the feet and hands as the mitts usually don't stay on and their hands and feet will be very cold)
* wash cloths (cheap anyway but nice for bathing and just washing the face)
* hat
* few sleepers--I love the nightgowns with the built-in mitts. Great for the early days, especially in the middle of the night
* blankets
* diaper rash cream or vaseline
* bottles, even if Shelly is going to breastfeed as you never know if the baby will latch. Other option is a lactaid system or cathedar and syringe if you want to stay away from bottles.
* formula--good to have at least one can in case you need to supplement. I recommend Good Start since it seems to be the best for most people as it's easier to digest.
* co-sleeper or pack-n-play or crib in your room--you'll want a place for the baby to sleep. Although you can sleep with her on you, it might be nice to have somewhere to put her down safely. The swing works well too.
* baby shampoo/soap--great brands at natural food stores with no chemicals
* thermometer as you will need to check her temp twice a day in the first week to make sure all is well
* car seat
* onsies (you don't need a ton as you'll do tons of laundry with a baby anyway)
If you don't have a soother, you can use your finger to pacify her.
The tip is that a baby should always have one more layer than you are comfortable with. So if you are good with 1 layer of clothes, she should have 2.
Hope that helps.... :)
First, i want to congratulate you two on 30 weeks! so wonderful. :)
i want you to know that you will have our prayers every night (mikaela and i do prayers each night when i tuck her in her crib) and all the positive thoughts i can muster.
oh and i have a surprise for you on my blog. you will have to read the latest post for details. :)
Sending you white light and strenghening thoughts. Those NST tests can get pretty stressful. Toward the end of Kristin's pregnancy we were in there three times a week.
I don't know if this happens at every hospital, but they offered us a lactaid supplementer at the hospital to support breastfeeding, so if you're planning on breastfeeding, but are thinking you might want a supplementer, I wouldn't stress too much about picking one up before hand. You could always call the hospital you're planning on delivering at and double checking this.
Other than that I've got nothing to add other than you might want some sort of sling or something to carry her around in.
Just know we are thinking about you guys, and hoping for the best.
We are absolutely sending all of our thoughts and prayers your way.
This whole pregnancy has been tough and you two have been so strong and amazing - as has Riley!
She has overachieved at every point! We have to keep believing that she will just continue to astound everyone!
For the necessity stuff - we never had a shower, ours is actually next week. When Lois was put on bed rest at 28 weeks, we were cautious not to go crazy with anything.
All we've needed so far is a bathtub, swing, bassinet (we have a pack n play too since we have 2 floor, and of course, outfits, onesies, diapers, wipes, a blanket or two, burp cloths, a few pacifiers, car seat, swaddler/sleep sack and baby monitor.
The hospital will probably give you shampoo, alcohol wipes (for the cord) and moisterizer lotion. We also ended up with extra bottles and nipples in the free hospital stuff too!
We are thinking of all of you, Shelly, Dee and Riley!!
Lots of Love,
Holly, Lois and Andrew
wow we never got free stuff :(
we never used alcohol on the cord. the theory here is that you should leave the cord alone now. let it dry up and fall off--it's dead and doesn't need anything. also we were told we could do full baths from the beginning (no more than every 3 days) as you don't have to keep the cord dry either.
hi there! i was just doing a search for cystic hygroma and stumbled upon your blog. many of your posts remind me of my mother and talking with her about her pregnancy, my birth and childhood.
anyway, i just wanted to let you know that i was born with cystic hygroma. i'm 35 years old now with two perfectly healthy children of my own. despite living with CH, i have had a blessed life.
wishing you the best and sending prayers, thoughts and positive energy.
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