Yesterday afternoon, I was sitting in my office, chatting with a co-worker on the phone. I happened to look out my window to see a family sitting outside my window having lunch. Unfortunately this family looked like maybe they were struggling financially and the concept of family may not be first in their minds. The looked pretty dirty, unkempt, and were smoking the entire time with there three young kids (ages 2-5 maybe) present. (Please don't mistake me. I'm not judgmental about smoking. I just don't think you should smoke around children.)
As I was chatting away with my co-worker I looked out just in time to watch the father pull back his left hand and slap one of the little boys hard across the face. I had just witnessed a father hitting his son. All of sudden my heart felt empty, hopeless. What on earth could cause a parent to slap their child so violently, while looking them in the eyes, and in public. It made me physically ill and I was having a hard time getting a grip.
I didn't know what to do or how to react. I had to end my conversation with my co-worker because I couldn't get past it. My choices for action consisted of 1) Do nothing; 2) Ask security to talk to them, but in reality, they were doing nothing wrong; or 3) Go talk to them myself and tell them what I witnessed. I so wanted to choose 3 but what would it do but possibly put myself in danger. The father was scary looking. I didn't want to put myself in a risky situation. And security couldn't do anything. They weren't breaking any rules. In the end I decided to do nothing. I just packed up my bag and went home to hold my baby girl.
The rest of the evening I was very melancholy. I don't think I've ever held Riley so tight. Today, sitting in the office, looking out my window, I can't shake yesterday's image from my head. I know I'll move past it but I just keep second guessing myself. Is there anything I could have done differently? Could I have made a difference? A small part of my heart is broken for that little boy. I can't even imagine how his life must be.
Because this hasn't been my usual, cheery, happy, everything is great post, I'll at least leave you with a picture of me and the princess. You may also notice I've cut my hair OFF and dyed it brown. BIG change! I'm getting it used to it but I miss my long, highlighted hair. I've also included a picture of me and the princess from the day we brought her home.
17 comments:
Wow! What a horrible experience. I know how you feel; my entire in-law family really beleives in spanking and while that doesn't compare to slapping your young child, I still get sick to my stomache when I witness a child even being spanked. I don't know what I would have done, but I know I would have felt the same way.
Dee, ALL of it now will affect you on a much deeper level.
Every time I hear a story of a child being hurt. killed. abused. a little part of me dies too.
As a mother you will want to save them all. You will wonder and search deep in to your soul how those mothers allow the behavior.
I'm at a loss for words when I hear of children being abused.
I would rather be in the dark.
I have seen situations like that a number of times and it kills me. I can't believe people could do that. I grew up with a best friend whose mom beat her and her siblings every day, even when I was there. It was so hard for me to see such violence and not be able to do anything about it. I was only a kid. I can't believe people even have the balls to do it in public. You just feel so bad for those kids.
Your hair looks way cute! I like it a lot!
dee I love the hair. I just chopped mine off a couple days ago too. It must be that time of year when we all need a change.
Oh yeah, and lets not forget about how cute Riley is too!
I know how you feel. I recently saw a woman grab her son (maybe 4 yrs old) in the arm at the grocery store. After the slapped him in the ass, she basically dragged him along by his arm. The poor kid was beside himself in pain. I was horrified!
Sometimes, there is little you can do, it's an incredibly helpless feeling.
Love the hair! I just went back to brown myself and cut a little off. It felt good!
You know, as long as I live I will never understand what drives a parent to hurt their child. I understand the *want* sometimes when you are at the end of your rope but to actually do it? I don't understand that.
KJ&Kids is right - now that you are a mother, things will *always* hit you harder and your heart will break a million times over and what goes on the world and the fear you will feel will be more than you ever imagined it could be. And it's all because you love a child with all your heart. That love changes you so completely. So absolutely.
I'm sorry you witnessed it. I'm so incredibly sorry for that family though. :(
that's horrible! um, that's not illegal? slapping a kid in the face? I know here that it's not legal to do that--it's child abuse. I'd have called the cops! I wonder how he is behind closed doors if he's like that in public. :(
It's very easy to turn away or disregard/downplay your neighbour's issues...the old saying, "Mind your own business" is so 60's. I wish somebody would've reported my abuse or when I finally told someone they would've taken it seriously. Maybe my life as an adult would've been different.
I'm sorry you had to see that Dee. On a happy note - I love your "new" hair and the pics of you and Riley.
So sorry you had to see such a sad image! I think it is even harder for those of us that have had to "try" to get pg to witness cruetly toward children that we think are God's greatest gift!
I once witnessed something like that, only so much worse. I was in a department store and a mom was dragging her two sons around. They were goofing off, and she put them in the middle of the clothes and starting smacking the crap out of them! i was MORTIFIED. Then one of the kids starting yelling for help. I got a sales person who went over and asked if she needed anything, I followed her out to her car and took her license plate number down and called social services...
When I've had moments like that, I've been filled with such sadness. And then such feelings of gratitude for all my blessings. It's a bittersweet feeling. No wonder you held your daughter so tight.
I love your hair-beautiful, beautiful! And the picture is so lovely.
BTW - I left you a present on my blog.
I had to stop reading your post when I got to the hitting part. That stuff gets to me so much these days.
On a lighter note, I didn't even recognize you! You look great! I love the cut and the color!! Riley is adorable too. Three months already! Where does the time go? The girls turn three months tomorrow!
Dee the hair looks good! I love it. Mine has been long and Brown for about 2 yrs now! I am tempted to go back to the blond highlights again! we shall see.
Dee, this is just the beginning. Every time you see a parent pull a child by the arm and drag him out of a store, or smack a child in the back of the head, or spank him, or belittle him, abuse him verbally, you will feel it. You will relive it for hours and days and feel sick to your stomach. It will scar your soul in a way you could never have imagined.
You will pray for that child and that parent and thank God that you have never hit your child and pray even harder that you never will.
You will want to step in, to help, to stand up for the child. One day, you will, when it feels safe and you are in a place emotionally to help. I stepped in once. I was frightened, but calm. I'm glad I did it, but often wonder if it really helped at all.
It hurts to watch, just no getting around it. You have some very thougthful replies, not still, we look for solutions.
jojo
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